How to read the stats

Underneath each bio picture are some seemingly random jumbles of letters and numbers. These are actually meaningful statistics. Each block represents a season played: "S" is Summer, "F" is Fall, the number following is the year.

S02 - Summer '02
F02 - Fall '02
F03 - Fall '03
etc.

Any sort of suffix to the season indicator represents a different team position for that season: "C" is Captain, "A" is Assistant Captain, "M" is Team Mascot.

The seasons are listed in reverse chronological order, most recent first. An "R" at the beginning indicates that the player has retired from the team. So,

R S03 F02-A S02

would mean that the played is currently retired, played for the team in Summer 2003, Fall 2002 and Summer 2002, and was an Assistant Captain in Fall 2002.

(close)

R F03-A S03-A W03-A S02-A

Big Monkey Head

Big Monkey Head was our funkalicious assistant captain in the hot summer of 2002. He was forcibly drafted by the Penguins for the Fall 2002 season, and was forced to wear pants during the Winter 2003 season, but he's back in full form for the summer.

Ninja Powers: Ninja Branding

Ninja Hobbies: Ninja Layouts and in-line ultimate, though not neccesarily together.

Also plays on: So Cut, Retro Rewind, Going Commando (part-time), Phoenix Coyotes, Paul Martin's cabinet (Minister of the Interior) and the Harlem Globetrotters.

R S02

Bioninja

Bioninja played fearlessly for the ninjastars in the Summer of 2002. However, she was urgently called away on a top-secret biology mission. We wish her luck!

R S02

Dragon Rage

This ninja has journeyed to the mystical city of Ottawa, seeking enlightenment in the tao of the disc. When he will return is unknown, but rest assured, he keeps a watchful eye over the Ninjastars. Enemies, beware!

R F03 S03 W03 S02

Fearless Hyena

I really have no idea what hyenas have to do with it, but I'm not asking silly questions. Fearless Hyena played an intrepid season with the ninjastars in the Summer 2002 season, suffering only one major injury. He was drafted by the Hammered Penguins for the Fall 2002 season, but joyfully rejoined his ninja brethren for the fantastic Winter 2003 season.

Also plays on: So Cut

R F03 S03 W03 S02

Flapping Butterfly

Flapping Butterfly was also one of the many ninjas who were shamelessly drafted by the Penguins for the Fall 2002 season. However, she has kept her ninja skills in shape through a strict regimen of disc golf.

Also plays on: So Cut

R F03 S03 F02 S02

Fruitless Ninja

After spending several years fronting "The Chixie Dicks", an all male Dixie Chicks cover band, Fruitless Ninja set out on the professional rhythmic gymnastics circuit. While a prolific ribbon-on-a-stick athlete, Fruitless Ninja was disillusioned by the commercialization of the sport. Soon he realized his skills of running, jumping, throwing, catching and prancing would translate to the Ultimate field.

Also plays on: Fate Amenable to Change

R S02

Gatchaman

I, personally, have no idea what a "Gatchaman" is, and until she reaches some sort of deal with the parole board, we will all remain hopelessly ignorant.

R S02

Hidden Sausage

Hidden Sausage was a strong clutch player for the ninjastars this past summer, providing a definite edge in the midseason tournament and playoffs. And boy, you ain't seen nuthin' 'til ya see his fakeout.

R F03-C S03-C W03-C F02-C S02

Inquisitor

Our fearless captain also doubles as a used funnel salesman. But that doesn't stop him from setting up intricate carpool plans only to see them utterly destroyed by the likes of Orange Duck.

Also plays on: So Cut

R F02

Lorette

Lorette was called up from the International League at the beginning of the fall season. As a ninja rookie, she performed extraordinarily. Nobody knows just how she's able to catch and throw with those big fuzzy mittens. She has returned to her native country to spread the glad tidings of the ninjastar, although I'm not sure how well "over-easy mac D callahan" translates.

R F03 F02 S02

Max Guar

Being a guar with nothing to lose has been a solid asset in Max's field presence. She puts herself on the line several times a game, never failing to pull out the ol' Bullet Time when needed.

R F03 S03

Momma Ninja

Moma-Ninja was drafted from the Stray Rays. Her patented upward D-blocks are a welcome relief for the ninja defensive line.

Ninja Powers:Taking care of baby ninjas

Ninja Hobbies:Exchanging "Yo Mama" jokes

R W03 S02

Pam

Don't let her lack of a ferocious ninja code name fool you. Pam is a monster on the field. She easily traps any disc which is travelling in her general direction, even if death-defying spectacular trick behind-the-back catches are necessary.

While Pam has advanced her Ultimate career to the point at which she doesn't need us anymore (sniff!), she still returns for the occasional winter season.

R W03 F02

Pastrami Ninja

Ninja Powers: Selling used cars.

Ninja Hobbies: Helping the eldery through traffic.

R S02-C

Peyton

Leading us to a stunning finish in the Summer 2002 season, our valiant captain has abandoned us moved on to conquer new fields of Penguiny Ultimate goodness.

R F03 S03

QYV

No, I really have no idea what his name means. Stop asking me!

R F03 S03

Sandra

Acquired from the Stray Rays in exchange for Magnus Arvedson, Sandra is a constant presence on the field, constantly forcing turnovers and never chossing a vicious ninja code name.

F03 S03

Scott

Also an acquisition from the Stray Rays, Scott has established himself as a dominant force on the ninjastars. When not playing or training, he is busy teaching Parker the secrets of the ninja.

Scott is taking a well-deserved season off as part of a spousal baseball deal which I don't fully understand, but agree with because I fear the power of the Ultimate-Baseball Players' Association.

R F03 S03 W03 F02

Shy Ninja

Shy Ninja provided some much-needed relief for our female lines in the Fall 2002 season, using her years of experience with the Stray Rays to help us in the playoffs. She returned to bolster the ninjas' lines in Winter and Summer 2003, never failing to impress with her unique somersault catch.

Ninja Powers: Shy Ninja is a trained professional. No one should ever attempt her patented ninja-face block.

Ninja Hobbies: Triatholons

R S02

Smiling Striker

Smiling Striker came in as a ringer from rough 'n' tough Pennsylvania. She proved herself well on the ninja battlefield, playing hard for the ninjastars well into the twilight of August, when she was called back to reinforce the PSU women's team.

R F02 S02

Stalking Cat

The problem with a cat that continuously stalks is that the cat never actually pounces and eats; hence, the cat dies of starvation. However, Stalking Cat has found ways around this slight obstacle. She's a tricky one.

Ninja Hobby: Shopping for the latest in ninja fashions.

F03 S03 W03

Swooping Crane

Swooping Crane is always game for any ultimate activity. Do not be fooled! Although winter may not be her favourite season, she is always ready to bring it on. Along with her trusty team mates, they for the "Flying V"... wait, that was the Mighty Ducks... then, they form "Flying U" =D.

Ninja Quote: Life is a Sport. Eat, Sleep, Dream ultimate.

R S02

Wing

Wing battled valiantly throughout the scorching days of summer for the ninjastars; he has taken a well-deserved season off to pursue his childhood love: dentistry. Okay, I completely made that one up.